s e r i e s | F L E S H : a l i t t l e f r o l i c t o a m u s e s .
at ego adulescens miser valde, miser in exordio ipsius adulescentiae, etiam petieram a te castitatem et dixeram, `da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo.' timebam enim ne me cito exaudires et cito sanares a morbo concupiscentiae, quem malebam expleri quam exstingui.
...but i wretched, most wretched, in the very commencement of my early youth, had begged chastity of thee, and said, "give me chastity and continency, only not yet." for i feared lest thou shouldest hear me soon, and soon cure me of the disease of concupiscence, which I wished to have satisfied, rather than extinguished.
st augustine, confessiones, 8.7.17
latin texts from the confessiones of augustine of hippo, c.398 CE; english translations by edward bouverie pusey, 1838 CE.
ink and stamped text on paper
fifteen drawings
5.5" x 3.5" approximately
for sandip kuriakose
VERSO: do the heaven and earth then contain thee, since thou fillest them? or dost thou fill them and yet overflow, since they do not contain thee? and whither, when the heaven and the earth are filled, pourest thou forth the remainder of thyself?
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RECTO: capiunt ergone te caelum et terra, quoniam tu imples ea? an imples et restat, quoniam non te capiunt? et quo refundis quidquid impleto caelo et terra restat ex te?
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VERSO: where is evil then, and whence, and how crept it in hither? what is its root, and what its seed? or hath it no being? why then fear we and avoid what is not?
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RECTO: ubi ergo malum et unde et qua huc inrepsit? quae radix eius et quod semen eius? an omnino non est? cur ergo timemus et cavemus quod non est?
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RECTO: et inspexi cetera infra te et vidi nec omnino esse nec omnino non esse: esse quidem, quoniam abs te sunt, non esse autem, quoniam id quod es non sunt.
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VERSO: and i beheld the other things below thee, and i perceived that they neither altogether are, nor altogether are not, for they are, since they are from thee, but are not, because they are not what thou art.
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RECTO: velle meum tenebat inimicus et inde mihi catenam fecerat et constrinxerat me. quippe ex voluntate perversa facta est libido, et dum servitur libidini, facta est consuetudo, et dum consuetudini non resistitur, facta est necessitas.
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VERSO: my will the enemy held, and thence had made a chain for me, and bound me. for of a forward will, was a lust made; and a lust served, became custom; and custom not resisted, became necessity.
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VERSO: whence is this monstrousness? and to what end? the mind commands the body, and it obeys instantly; the mind commands itself, and is resisted. the mind commands the hand to be moved; and such readiness is there, that command is scarce distinct from obedience. yet the mind is mind, the hand is body.
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RECTO: unde hoc monstrum? et quare istuc? imperat animus corpori, et paretur statim; imperat animus sibi, et resistitur. imperat animus ut moveatur manus, et tanta est facilitas ut vix a servitio discernatur imperium: et animus animus est, manus autem corpus est.
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RECTO: et quis est, domine, qui non rapiatur aliquantum extra metas necessitatis? quisquis est, magnus est, magnificet nomen tuum. ego autem non sum, quia peccator homo sum...
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VERSO: and who is he, o lord, who is not some whit transported beyond the limits of necessity? whoever he is, he is a great one; let him make thy name great. but i am not such, for i am a sinful man...
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VERSO: thou therefore, lord, madest them; who art beautiful, for they are beautiful; who art good, for they are good; who art, for they are; yet are they not beautiful nor good, nor are they, as thou their creator art; compared with whom, they are neither beautiful, nor good, nor are.
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RECTO: tu ergo, domine, fecisti ea, qui pulcher es (pulchra sunt enim), qui bonus es (bona sunt enim), qui es (sunt enim). nec ita pulchra sunt nec ita bona sunt nec ita sunt, sicut tu conditor eorum, quo comparato nec pulchra sunt nec bona sunt nec sunt.
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RECTO: quis tenebit cor hominis, ut stet et videat quomodo stans dictet futura et praeterita tempora nec futura nec praeterita aeternitas?
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VERSO: who shall hold the heart of man, that it may stand still, and see how eternity ever still-standing, neither past nor to come, uttereth the times past and to come?
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